This sweet gift was a red sweater from a client, for me to take with me when I move to New York. It truly made my day!

Got to spend July 4th in the always breathtaking NYC! 🎆

When I think of 'the power of truth' I remember a group I conducted on the topic of honesty. A client shared the story of when he was in court and the judge asked the client to tell him the truth about whether or not he had been using substances. Of course the judge already had all the paperwork and information confirming his use. The client continually denied it. He shared in group that his mother was right next to him saying "The truth will set you free...the truth will set you free!" Finally, he admitted to using. That day he avoided a sentence of up to 5 years in prison. The judge told him that he made a wise decision telling him the truth, because he had been ready to sentence him otherwise. The truth will always set you free. Kids will often tell little white lies here and there, without much consequence. Somehow, as we get older (for some of us at least), lies are no longer fun to sit in. Lies will only make you sick. Honesty is a virtue. One to be admired

At this point I've got about a month left of grad school, and can't help but have a million questions. What next? For the last couple years I have always known that this part of my life is a stepping stone and not the final destination. Still, it was easy to get settled in. Now looking back, I cannot believe the time has passed, and how much I have grown both personally and professionally. At the same time, closing this chapter comes with the newfound understanding that there are so many experiences in my life at large, that are still untouched. When I get nervous about the future I try to replace it with excitement. I'm excited to see what new paths I will travel and where my career will take me. I am ready for the new and the unexplored. Here's to the future! -Cheryl Cherian

"We are the recipients of a spiritual survival kit that includes everything we require. Whatever the threat or complication, we have what we need to cope. It's not miles away on a distant shelf, or in a pharmacy; it is already within us, just waiting to be opened and put to use. I know that we often don't feel equipped. We look at the challenges in our life and think we are empty-handed. But we are not... We travel through life with the survival kit of God's grace." -Gracia Burnham

To Write Love on Her Arms has written beautifully on the topics of mental health and suicide in the the wake of two amazing minds taking their lives: https://twloha.com/blog/on-kate-spade-and-anthony-bourdain-vulnerable-people-do-not-always-look-vulnerable/

When I close my eyes and visualize my peaceful place, it looks something like this 🌿

Silence is much appreciated because as counselors, we talk to people all day. A mix of talking to clients and hearing them out. If you think about it, how much silence do we really get in our lives? And how important is silence? Without silence, when do we process our thoughts? It's the calm and quiet that everyone needs. Silence is powerful though, because it can be good or bad. For some, being alone with their thoughts is scary. The silence may be terrifying. For others, it is freeing to be able to explore their thoughts in peace without the noise of the world. If we wish to be present in our day-to-day conversations with clients, family, and friends, we should be doing more listening and less thinking as they speak. If that's the case, we surely need our time to unpack our thoughts in silence. For those who are scared to be alone with their thoughts, we encourage them to challenge their negative, irrational, and self-destructive thoughts. Without silence though, we woul

The blooming sunflower in my backyard!

A reflection piece on power: People define power in different ways: money, career, lifestyle. Your own sense of power comes from within. The most powerful people in my eyes are not the ones who can control or influence that which is around them. The most powerful people are in control of their lives. Self-control and awareness- the ability to know your strengths and limitations, and the ability to change your own life in the way you want to. More important than exercising power in the world outside of us, is feeling powerful within.  -Cheryl Cherian

Getting in bed with a nice cup of tea ☂

A piece I wrote in class on the topic of powerlessness: Powerlessness is a familiar feeling. I'd like to think I feel powerful all the time, but no. There are many situations in which I feel at a loss of power. For being a woman. For the color of my skin. I remember when a client said he preferred a male counselor, and when I asked him why, he said "You know how it is with women." No, actually, I don't. I felt like my power, my ability, and my capability, were just snatched from under my feet. To this day I hate when people assume I'm anything less than what I am because of the color of my skin. It feels unfair, and suddenly it becomes my intent to prove them wrong. I've felt powerless because of my age as well, or my perceived age, based on my appearance or size. For most, it's thinking I'm less aware of less experienced. I think feeling powerful comes in a way, from knowing you are heard and your input is valued. While moments when this is not t

 Every time I see the Florida water, I think how lucky I am to live where everyone vacations ☀

Some follow-up pictures from the event at which I spoke about self-awareness and self-exploration with the teenagers of Tampa:

The Power of Pain Pain is probably one of the most powerful feelings in the world. Out emotions drive our actions, our choices to do or not do something. Of all the emotions, pain- feeling hurt, low, experiencing something so unfair- pain drives people to act. When I think of counseling and those in the helping professions, I realize that for many of us, pain experienced directly or indirectly, has led us to this field. For myself, I think of when I experienced the passing of someone close to me, and how low I had felt at that time. There was power in that pain. Wanting and knowing that it is my duty, when it's in my ability, to help people in their pursuit of happiness and the pursuit of the lives they want and deserve. Apart from that, there's also power in the pain of all the clients I see. Interacting with their pain, and seeing clients progress, gives me all of the joy and the drive to keep doing what I'm doing, and the willingness and desire to do it better each da

Saw these lovely notebooks last week and loved the inspirational and empowering covers! 👊

I'm honored and excited to be a guest speaker at this event this weekend. Here's to the start of more motivational speaking in the future!

Keeping up with friends post-college has to be one of the hardest things to do in life that nobody ever really warned you about. You always see in movies that friends from college are hanging out, going on trips, even raising their kids together. That was always the dream in college. After college, I saw that in time my friends were all scattered over the map. Some friends never really made it more than 2 years after college. Some that I weren't as close with in college unexpectedly ended up being more important in my life much later. At the end of the day though, I saw that my friends were far and few. Keeping up with them, albeit them being far and few, proved to be a challenge. Unlike college, during which everyone is contained in the same general area, coordinating schedules and getting together even just for a lunch had become considerably more difficult. The first couple years after college it didn't bother me that I wasn't as close with many friends because I was

Highly self-aware people usually know when something isn't right about the way they're feeling or the way they're thinking. When everything in life is otherwise going great, it's confusing when one day your mood doesn't reflect that, and you don't know why. Having "off days" is perfectly normal. I like to dig deep and see where that might be coming from. Am I tired? Did something irritate me? Am I avoiding something? Reality is that confronting a feeling or a thought isn't always the most fun thing to do. Still, when you address moments when you feel "off" it helps you process and move forward rather than sit in the dullness. Getting honest with yourself never felt so good. -Cheryl Cherian

When nothing else matters except the present moment 💜

One of my favorite things to do is organize my stuff. I like tossing out old things that no longer serve a purpose and clearing up my space. I admit that I hadn't re-organized in a while before today, but it's still just as fun as the last time. While I'm not a minimalist by any means, I can appreciate a space that isn't cluttered. Sometimes it's hard to let go of things that were once your favorite, or once bought with the intention of using forever (though that was not the case). A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself when the last time you used something was. If it wasn't in the last year or two, you definitely won't be getting much use out of it in the near future. Or, ask yourself if something still fits your taste as time has passed. A clean space is refreshing, and a space that reflects your style is even more satisfying. Needless to say, the process is enjoyably therapeutic. -Cheryl Cherian

In working with so many people in the scope of counseling, the idea that healing might be fast, simple, or identical from one person to the next is false. Healing certainly is not linear. There's always bumps in the road, but the bumps are critical parts of the process of learning, growth, and self-improvement. 

Sometimes you have to rally for yourself and if you don't know how to, LEARN how to make moves in your own life, because dreams aren't achieved when you sit around. YOU are amazing. YOU are capable. YOU are worth it. YOU deserve all the very best in the world. When you're used to taking the back seat and watching everyone else's lives revolve around you, you lose touch with the importance of your own. Audacious, bodacious, and courageous. If those words don't describe you and your actions, figure out how to make it so. The powerful, successful, and accomplished women you know and have heard of, never achieved anything without a great deal of audacity. - Cheryl Cherian

Who knew TopGolf was actually fun?

Never been much of a baker but I'm pretty proud of myself for this one!

The majority of clients I see struggle with low self-esteem, irrational worries, and/or intense negative emotions. I put together some questions you can ask yourself to really challenge your thoughts and work through them when you might be in a rut: When I have low Self Esteem: What do I love about myself? What are the meaningful things in my life? When I am Worried: What am I worried about? Why am I worried about it? Do I need to be this worried about it? Is it irrational? What can I do about it? When I am Upset: Why am I upset? What specifically about the situation is making me feel this way? Do I need to feel this intensely? Am I using unhealthy thinking styles? What to Do: What are positive solutions? Can I talk to someone? What can I do to get my mind off of it? What are the positives in my life and about me? -Cheryl Cherian

Today I challenged myself to do something well outside of my comfort zone. When the initial idea was suggested to me, I knew it was only because I was capable. I hesitated for a second, but then impulsively agreed. Days later I was wondering, "WHY CHERYL?!" Today came around and I was nervous as can be. Low and behold, it went well! My car ride home and even now, I can't stop smiling. Life sometimes give us these incredible natural highs when you just feel like you're on top of the world. In those moments I think to myself, "Wow. I'm just so incredibly happy!" Needless to say, I'm glad that I agreed and challenged myself to be uncomfortable. Being proud of yourself sure is one amazing feeling. -Cheryl Cherian

There are people in this world whose sole purpose in life might seem to be to bring you down. Have you ever felt that way? It seems like any time you're around them, they just function to rain on your parade and probably those of others too. I've focused so much on the people I surround myself with in the past year that these people and situations have become glaringly obvious. I've met a lot of what I like to call "adult bullies". They're full grown adults, but they act like children. To me, a major sign of maturity is respect for others. Adults ought to respect adults. Whether at the workplace or with family, there's people who are adult bullies- rude, disrespectful, and condescending. So what do you do in these situations? It never fails to hurt, so you're sad, which makes you mad. It becomes a mix of mad and sad and wondering if your adult bullies have a point. I just remember who they are: adult bullies. Why do people bully others? It's usu

On an otherwise dreary and rainy day, these little red flowers were much appreciated.

There is something so oddly satisfying about To-Do Lists. Everything about them, from making them, to prioritizing items, crossing things off, and starting new ones. To-Do lists fulfill my need for organization. When my brain feels scattered, jotting down the things I need to do gives me all the clarity I need to start on the first task, knowing that nothing is lost in translation because I've got it all written down. To-Do lists also function as my motivators. The gratification of getting one thing done and having the list that much closer to completion is always my ammunition to keep the momentum going. I recently got a neat app called Google Keep. I used to use the basic Notes app on my phone, but this is great because once you log in you can access your notes anytime, anywhere. Their list features are great because when one task is completed rather than deleting it, they cross it out and move it to the bottom of the list, so you can visualize the completion of the task. I li

My lovely parents and I on Easter❤

Easter Weekend 2018 was definitely the best Easter yet. For one, I got to spend the weekend with my family and go to church Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, which is always great. More than that, it's the meaning of Easter. We tend to carry the burden of all of our sins and mistakes with us, but it's a reminder that Jesus died on the cross for our sins. Because of him, we are forgiven. He carried the weight of everyone's sins for the rest of eternity so that we could be saved. His resurrection on Easter Sunday is a symbol of hope for all of mankind. Easter is a time for our own spiritual resurrection as well, as we remember what it means to be Christians. One of my favorite songs is Resurrecting by Elevation Worship, which catches the beauty of the resurrection so beautifully. Happy Easter! -Cheryl Cherian

"Note to Self: A Collection of Thoughts on Life" was featured in its first news article, by Khaas Baat. Check it out below: "In this debut book, Tampa native and University of South Florida graduate Cheryl Cherian has put together some ramblings and random thoughts on essential life topics such as forgiveness, friends and foes, grief, kindness, identity, positive vibes, relationships, struggles, happiness, etc. “Most of these were little pieces of observations or advice to myself, which in a way were my inspiration,” she notes. Well, the notes could also be motivational for the reader. While admitting that forgiveness can be challenging, she writes, “… it’s what I strive for, for my own peace of mind … Most importantly however, we have to learn to forgive ourselves. Sometimes we are our own greatest critic.” On struggles in life: “Whatever might be your obstacle in life right now, if you challenge yourselves to overcome it, I guarantee that you can meet the countless

Sometimes I can't believe how lucky I got with such supportive parents. Thanks for being there through thick and thin 🙏

We often neglect to give ourselves credit. When I do something incorrectly, or perhaps not to the best of my ability I can be hard on myself. I'm such a perfectionist that it kills me to not deliver. Perhaps it's because I know what I'm capable of. I've had a strong work ethic ever since I was young, and have come out on top more times than not. The issue with being a perfectionist is that everything suddenly has to be the best. It's draining to say the least. Every email and every initiative. Tuning into my perfectionist nature has showed me that there are so many things I don't need to be a perfectionist for. An obsession with perfection does not always work to your favor. It can be excessive and stressful for no reason. Other times, I'm happy to be a perfectionist. When I was writing my book, my parents wondered why it was taking so long after I told them the writing process was done. I edited and edited, designed and designed. I wanted it to be absolu

The beautiful roses I got today 🌹

We experience hurt and pain in many different ways. The little things sometimes hurt the most, and it really just boils down to kindness. Kindness is simply being considerate of the feelings of others At times it's the unsolicited unkindness that does the most damage. I try to be as kind, as sensitive, as helpful, and as positive as possible. Most days, at least. That's why when people people are rude, disrespectful, or behave in hurtful ways to me, it just doesn't make sense. I almost think to myself, "Why?" It's easy to take it to heart, but it has always been the case that the way someone acts is a reflection of who they are. It certainly takes a great deal of courage to be the bigger person and not retaliate. But that doesn't mean anyone should have to bear the pain of it all. Nothing about someone else behaving in such a way towards you is in your control. I was driven to write this because I experienced a situation like this today that really just

By this age, I have been through a lot of endings and beginnings. High school, college, grad school, relationships, and places I've lived, to name a few. Sometimes it's just a mental thing. You feel like something has ended, and something else is beginning. Even if some things aren't entirely gone out of your life to constitute an ending, it might be the end of a phase and the start of a new one. I've been nostalgic lately, probably owing to watching This Is Us, the most nostalgic show ever known to man. The show is about a core family. A husband and wife whom we see grow old as they have 3 children, and then grandchildren. We see them and their children reminisce on their dating life before marriage, and their childhood respectively. It just makes me look back upon my life, childhood, grade school, high school, and college. I think of all of the things I have been through, the experiences, the people I met that I shared memories with, who are now gone, not really

How peaceful and beautiful!

Notes of love and encouragement on my walls ✨

Self-improvement is interesting, because truth is, you're never really done. It's not a single thought out action, but rather a lifestyle. It can be frustrating to look at yourself and wonder why you do things a certain way, why you feel a certain way, or why a situation played out the way that it did. That frustration can lead to negative self talk and take away from self-esteem, which is never really the best way to channel frustration. Take it as a challenge to improve. To be better tomorrow, than the person you are today. Doing something about it, rather than sitting on it, makes all the difference. Change doesn't happen overnight; it never does. Still, making small changes each day brings it all to life. I always find things about myself that I want to improve, perhaps because once upon a time there were so many changes that I wanted to make that I didn't even know where to start. Note that there is no such thing as perfection. What is perfect anyway? In self-impr

It's no secret that I love journaling. I rave about it almost all the time. To journaling beginners it might seem daunting, but there's no right or wrong way to journal- that's the best part. A journal is just a personal space to write WHATEVER you want! 1. Make it personal If you've heard of bullet journals, then you know how cool they are. I could literally look at pictures of bullet journals the whole day long. The bullet journal approach is that a journal can look how you want it to, and it can take on any form you'd like. People put a lot of effort into these, whether it be through their calligraphy, artwork, diagrams, or organization. I've seen a lot of bullet journals with quotes, pictures, and more. The more personal your journal is, the more meaning it'll have for you. 2. Make it work for you So why are you journaling? A lot of people journal to write their thoughts and emotions. For that purpose it makes sense if you have space for lots of

In 2016, Stephen Hawking spoke in a lecture: "The message of this lecture is that black holes ain't as black as they are painted. They are not the eternal prisons they were once thought." "Things can get out of a black hold both on the outside and possibly to another universe. So if you feel you are in a black hole, don't give up - there's a way out." When Stephen Hawking was diagnosed with his motor neuron disease in 1963, they told him he had another 2 years left to live. He lived for another 55 years. January 8, 1942 - March 14, 2018 Source:  http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/stephen-hawking-advise-depression/ -Cheryl Cherian

It's interesting how so many people are raised entirely as Christians, attending Christian schools, going to church every Sunday, and going to Sunday school. However, many of these people go on to become nonbelievers. I've always found it so interesting that those who are most immersed either want the same (if not more) as adults, or take the opposite route. Is it something that we can catch onto while they are still young? If it isn't working for them, perhaps take a different approach? Or does it just take its natural course? My family is of course a church-going family, however as a child I never felt  personally connected to God. Many children don't. It's not that I didn't consider myself a Christian. Of course I did. I enjoyed going to church. I knew it was the right thing to do. I knew God loved me, and I prayed to Him. There were plenty of prayers and plenty of church songs. Plenty of amazing memories growing up in church. Perhaps I just had to find th

Forgiving can be so incredibly hard. Especially when someone wrongs you and it just brings back everything that same person ever did to you. Why would you want to forgive them? Why do we forgive? The simple answer is, for peace of mind. I’m having a hard time forgiving someone and it just reminds me as always, that forgiveness is a gift that you give yourself. When you find yourself recalling a certain situation over and over, and the pain it caused you, it takes away from your happiness. It’s not fair to yourself, to you who has already been wronged, to do another injustice to yourself by not forgiving. Love yourself by letting it go. If you want to maintain these relationships, it becomes very important to actually talk about what happened. Without closure, the situation will only find a way to come back to the surface again. Why did the situation take place the way that it did? Does the other party know just how it made you feel? Can we be sure this won't happen again? These

I mentioned in my book about my trip to Tanzania and the many children I met while volunteering there. These are just some of the beautiful faces of the kids I met there.